|Audioesclave| "But to be yourself is all that you can do..." -- Audioslave
The other night I grabbed a drink at a beer bar near Etienne-Marcel with a friend of mine (named Etienne -- mere coincidence). We got to talking about language and he was saying that what he hates about speaking English is that he can't express himself the way he naturally would. That hecan't be himself in English because he has to speak as if he were a child. I started to agree with him. While I do not know all of the words in the English language, I do know enough words (or understand the language sufficiently well enough to jimmy words that others who also know the language well will be able to comprehend what I mean to convey) to be able to say what I want or pretty close to it. But in French, I only know a handful of words. And the longer I'm here (not that I've been here for that long or will be here for that long), the more I realize how little French I know, but also the more English words fall out of my brain because I get so consumed with trying to come up with a French word for an English-based idea. It took me a week to remember the word "awning!" So much time had passed that I can't now recall what awning I had wanted to describe or talk about in the first place. According to one of the otherstagiaireswith whom I work (she's not a legal intern, but we share an office nonetheless), the English language is estimated to be about 5x larger than the French language. Since she has a masters in translation, I'm going to choose to believe her. So when Etienne said that he can't be himself in English and I started to agree with him about not being able to be myself in French, I actually changed my mind mid-nod remembering whatla traductricehad said. (I realize the proceeding argument is assuming a lot. It's assuming that the only way we communicate is through words. It's assuming that the number of words in the language can be counted. It's assuming that slang isn't leveling out the differences in "size" of the "languages". It's assuming that the number of words is so correlated to the number [and number of uses] of meanings. It's assuming a lot. But whatever. Just roll with it.) Because arguably while I might not be able to be myself in French, Etienne has the opportunity to bemorethan himself in English. With more words to describe X, Y and Zed, Etienne may be able to give verbal facets to his express words that he otherwise could not do in his native tongue. Whereas I, being accustomed to having so many choices at my beck and call am now limited. Potentially even if I were to become fluent in French, I might still never be able to be myselfbecauseI was forged in a language with greater flexibility. So, what to do?Garder la foi, alors.
I went to an Ivy League undergrad.
I go to a top NYC law school.
I date men (well...).
I live in Bed-Stuy.
I don't need more to say,
just more room to say it.
Etc.