Sunday, April 30, 2006
|Best Week Ever.|So this was definitely the best week of my life. With the scholarship on Monday, the internship on Wednesday, and then my Birthday Party Field Day yesterday with perfect weather and lots of great friends (many of whom, in turns out, were already friends and didn't know that they had me in common or had even spoken at all recently) -- I have no doubt in my mind that, from here on out, it's all downhill. But maybe it'll be a gentle slope that will flatten out to a nice plain.And my life is rather fantastic right now. It has been for a while. Sure, there is the ever present problem of not feeling attractive and having every boy that I ask out turn me down and not having boys ever ask me out themselves, but that's a minor ripple in what is otherwise satin wonderful.I was speaking with Julianne yesterday, she came down from Harvard Law to take part in the festivities, about how wonderful my life was. I said that I wonder if it's truly great or if it just seems great in comparison to how it was before. She was quick to counter with, "Uh, you got a full-tuition scholarship to NYU." And I backed away at that point because at the time it seemed a good one, but in thinking more about it, her point wasn't really that good. I mean, a full scholarship, so what? Should one stupendous thing mean that my whole life is better/great/good?I really don't think so. I do not think that my life has been made wonderful by my scholarship. What I do think is that my life is wonderful because I was in a posistion to apply to law school, get into many terrific law schools, and be awarded a full-tuition scholarship to one of them. My life is not awesome because I got selected for the internship program, but because I am in a place and a state of mind to present a strong application and show that I am not only qualified, but a good fit for the program.Even just a few years ago, this would not have been the case. I would not have been in the right place physically or mentally to go for and achieve any of this. And I certainly do not want to suggest that I've done it all on my own. Far from it. It's been luck, pluck and great friends, I'm sure.The scholarship is merely epiphenomenal: an indication of the vast improvements that my life has undergone in the past few years.Really, could it be my best week ever without overanalysis?
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 15:45.
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
|"'Cause of all the riboflavin."|I received a call today from the SEO internship program informing me that I've been accepted into their Corporate Law program.How exciting is this? Uhm, super. Because it means having a well-paying job for the summer that has implications and benefits that may far outreach this summer (i.e., a possible firm job for my 1L summer, should I want to go that route). As well as an early look at firm-life and if it turns out that it's not for me, I have my whole 3 years of law school to orient in a more fitting direction rather than not finding out until my 2L summer.Flip side? It doesn't start until early to mid-June. Which means six weeks between then and when school ends during which I still have no place to live and will have no money whatsoever insofar as I can see from here. Frick. Also, the program may not pay as well as I'd heard, but still far better than anything else I could/would be doing with my summer.You know, I always get exactly what I want when I bother working for it. The problem is I fail to be specific enough in detailing what it is that I want. Something to work on.
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 19:20.
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Monday, April 24, 2006
|Does it get any better than this?|I won the NYU scholarship. I am the recipient of a full-tuition scholarship to one of the best law schools in the country.Along with all of the other perks of the program -- dinners with deans, meetings with special professors, almost immediate access to Supreme Court Justices.Really, I have to ask, who's life am I leading?
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 11:26.
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Saturday, April 22, 2006
|::sings:: "Not bad, for a girl from the gutter like me..."|I generally do not think that it is wise for an artist to make her one-hit wonder all about how she's made it. It's a little embarassing. And far be it from me to heap additional embarassment onto Kina's supple shoulders by invoking her words and thereby drawing attention to her flop, but the song, sung by a black woman, is especially apt.Today there was a BALSA (Black Allied Law Students Association) Brunch, a sort of NYU sponsored post-Admitted Student's Day event.Not shockingly, I was the only guy. There were, around me, 10 really impressive black women, 4 of whom were, like me, admitted students.And also not shockingly, the conversation wove its way, amongst other topics, from Affirmative Action discussions in Con Law class to racism in the private legal sector."And so the hiring partner says to me in my interview," related Nessa, a beautiful and brilliant woman who hales from the heartland of America via West Africa, "'You're very articulate!' Really? I go to a top 5 law school" - "Top 4!" another student inserted, referencing the most recent USNWR rankings. "That's right, top 4. I was thinking, 'Did you think I wouldn't be? Is that the criterion for getting in?'"What kind of comment is that to make? Not to make it always about race, but I'm starting to think it is always about race. I mean, is there a reason to expect that someone at a top law school wouldn't be, at the very least, articulate? Shouldn't that be the sort of thing that goes without wondering? Certainly without commenting."'So, uhm, I'm not sure how to put this...' is what the partner started to say in my interview," started another with a fabulous and well-maintained afro. "'We like to have a very professional look at the office and so, hmmm, we were wondering if you were going to wear your hair like that at the office. Perhaps you could put it down?' Yeah," she points to her hair, "this is down."What is meant by "professional?" What is so unprofessional about hair that is groomed, but mostly left in its natural state?Others confessed worrying about laughing too loudly at firm functions. "Others can laugh loudly, but lord don't let me be 'the loud black girl.'" or "And dancing. No, no dancing! They expect you to do it, they expect you to be good at it. You can't do it. No dancing." These are the things non-white persons encounter every day, enough that we can all talk about it and recognize what each other is saying, and yet so many intelligent white persons actually have the gaul to denounce racism, to claim that it doesn't exist any more, at least not to this extent. They don't realize that "professional" = "white" because they don't realize that they think "white" = "neutral" because they don't think "white" because they don't have to, because it's already there, it's already who and what they are.Oh, law school is going to be fun.
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 17:47.
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|Let me give you my card.|Last night I and the other admitted NYU students were all invited to a dinner at the Twenty Four Fifth Ballroom. It was NYU's BLAPA's (Black Latin and Asian Pacific Americans) Annual Spring Dinner.There was wining and there was certainly dining. There had actually been wining and dining throughout most of the day,along with several events that coalesced my decision into crystal clarity: I will be at NYU in the fall.The interview for the An-Bryce scholars was on Thursday. I've basically been doing NYU things since Wednesday night (hotel, fancy dinner here, fancier dinner there, meets and greets, schmoozing and boozing). All of the interviewees I met were incredible people and I can't imagine it's going to be an easy task to pick who should win amongst us. The scholarship was initiated and endowed by an amazing man -- Anthony Welters. He's black, he had to work 30hrs a week while putting himself through NYU law school in the late 70s, and now he's in a position to give back. His most recent giving back? A $10m grant to NYU.When we and the other interviewees had a bull-session with him and the Dean of the school, Dean Revesz, he posed the question: "What would you do if money was not a problem? If all you had to do, was perform/do well academically, and not worry about how you were going to pay for your laptop because your old one just crashed or whether or not there was going to be food on the table next week, what would you do?"The scholarship is designed to get at those with "disadvantaged" backgrounds. I feared that it was going the same was as schools looking for "diversity." But the only thing we all really had in common was that growing up was tough, but we came from differents parts of the country and different ethnic and national origins. I think the fact that NYU has a program like this, that walks the talk of affording opportunities speaks so well for it. Beyond this program, NYU guarantees a $4k grant to anyone who does non-profit work during their summers. $4k is not much, but it's something. Other schools, like Penn, offer you nothing. Or, at Michigan, the students raise the funds themselves through what they call "Student Funded Fellowships." The whole student body is charged with the task of raising non-profit internship funding, only it's only about $3k and only 1/3 of students who apply are actually given it. So many schools talk of doing so many things, but I really feel like NYU is doing them.Back to the dinner. I, of course, brought my social maven and surrogate mother, Michelle, and it was great. And toward the end of the evening, a lawyer we'd been talking to came over to us and explained that going where I was going, I would meet a number of people who could be mentors to me, who would be eager to be mentors to me, I only needed to ask."Let me give you my card," he said. I think I'm entering a period where I'm going to be getting a lot of cards.I do not know that I've ever been more jazzed for small, rectangular, rigid pieces of paper.
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 07:40.
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Thursday, April 13, 2006
|'Cause breaking up is hard to do.|I just withdrew from the University of Wisconsin.I may not have ever done something so difficult in my life ever. I mean, I really really did not want to do it, but I just can't get around the possibility that turning over Penn or NYU or Michigan for Wisconsin would just be detrimental to my future. Doors that I might never even want to open would be completely locked to me.Unless I was at the top of my class. But, what kind of contingency is that? A little too high-risk for my blood.I never even got to visit, as I missed my plane last week. And no, I definitely did not miss my plane as an unconscious desire not to go. Athough I do think that not going was probably a good thing, as it would have made this decision, that I think I knew I would make all along, even more gut-wrenching.But Mike (the Dean) was extremely nice and understanding and, as always, flattering. He did indicate that I "did this right," as there are applicants who Wisconsin was equally generous with who've said nothing to him/them this whole time. He expressed his disappointment at the general lack of consideration shown on the part of admitted students. I chose not to comment on the general lack of consideration shown by admissions offices.We ended on a good, if not slightly awkward note.Still, hard as it was, I suspect it may be the best break up that I will ever go through.
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 13:03.
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Friday, April 07, 2006
|Crappy Birthday = Hegelian Progression?|I had a paper.I missed a plane.I had sex with someone who didn't find me attractive.I got a little high.I wasted money on drinks.And I think I'm better for it.
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 12:07.
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Wednesday, April 05, 2006
|You've just been f-ed in the a.|I'm sure I've used that title before, but now it feels especially apt.My interview for the NYU scholarship is April 20th and then the following Monday or Tuesday, I find out if I got it. If I got it, I will have until the end of that week to make a decision. Coincidentally, that is also the same week of the Penn deadline and when I have to tell the SEO internship program where I'm going to school so they can decide if I am into the program or not (yes, apparently where I choose to go to school may very well be the deciding factor and, no, I do not agree with that policy and I do think it's highly elitist and unfair). I am, however, still waiting on five schools: Columbia, Cornell, Harvard, Stanford and Yale.Looking at my calendar, between now and the end of April, I have exactly one weekend to visit a school. Next weekend. This weekend I'm visiting Madison, Wisconsin. The weekend after next is the NYU Interview and the NYU Admitted Students' Weekend. And the weekend after that is my Birthday Field Day Party (my birthday, btw, is tomorrow). So, if I am to be able to make an informed decision on the law school that I am going to attend, I have to find out within the next 7 days so then I can initiate the financial aid process (while you would think that these schools would be nice enough to have that information ready for you when they let you in this late in the cycle, if they let you in, you would be incorrect -- Harvard might let me in the first week of May, but they won't let me know if I can afford it still until the last week of May, possibly first week of June -- yes, they expect that somehow I'll have either been able to ask other schools to wait for a whole month [or longer, in some cases] or that I will have been able to put down multiple deposits, once again indicating the power of money in this situation because I do not have multiple-deposit money and only intend to put down a deposit at the school I intend to attend) so that, if I get the NYU scholarship, I will have all of the necessary information to make an informed decision.So I called Harvard. You know, I realized that they probably wouldn't give a damn, but I had to try because while I don't think I want to go, if I am going to have the option of going, I'd like to also have the option of excercising that option. But if I've already committed to NYU, then that is not the case, is it? In Harvard's mind, I can just ask for an extension, because it's Harvard and of course other schools won't mind, or at least I won't mind being placed in so awkward a position, because it's Harvard. And while I'm sure that most schools, for their regular deadlines, are alright to give extensions, I don't think that NYU, which, rankings-wise as of this past weekend, is only one step below Harvard, will like the idea that I think their full-tuition offer might not be as good as any kind of offer from Harvard and I don't think that they will be happy to let their 3-day rule slide a bit just for me.So I called Harvard today. And I explained the situation. Harvard's response?"Well, given that it's already so late in the cycle, you can imagine that most of the students in your position are also having multiple deadlines to work with and we don't think it would be fair to make exceptions for any one person. We do hope to get all of our decisions out by the end of this month, but we expect that some will stretch on into May."
Wow.I mean, Wow.They acknowledge the problem. They are aware that they are part of it. But do they care at all? Nope. Uh-uh. Not one iota of giveadamn over their in Cambridge.I'm so nearly blind with rage right now because they aren't even trying to hide their total lack of concern for applicants. Honestly, I get the whole not being able to make an exception thing. I would like special treatment because my deadline cannot be extended, but I understand not being given it. But it's not as if this situation can't be helped. It's not as if Harvard couldn't work a little faster and get decisions out a little quicker. It's not as if the fewer than 200 ABA-approved law schools couldn't get it together like the thousands of undergraduate institutions and agree on one across-the-board date for letting students know, and one for students sending in deposits.And it's not like what I'm asking for is so crazy. If I get into Harvard, I'd like to be able to go. Is that insane of me? Say I get into Harvard the week of the interview, while that's still over a week before I have to decide, when am I going to have the time to get up to Cambridge and see the place, sit in a class? And are they going to push my financial aid ppwk through to the top of the pile so that I can have numbers in hand by the end of the following week? No, probably not.Not that I think I have a shot at getting into Harvard. Honestly, I don't. But I didn't think I had a shot at any of the schools I've gotten into. I didn't think I had a shot at a full-tuition scholarship from NYU. Clearly I am adept at underestimating myself when it comes to law school admissions, so while I don't think I have a shot at Harvard, all evidence is pointing unfailingly to the contrary. It would appear that I do have a shot.Of course, none of this matters if I don't get the NYU scholarship. I mean, it will matter a little because timing will still be problematic, but I imagine that I could possibly get some sort of extension on their regular deadline. And the same goes for Penn.But if I do get it, and last year 3 of the 6 finalists were awarded it, then I'd really like to have all of this worked out. I almost want to withdraw from these schools on sheer principle, but I need to know if I got it. If I could have gone. As much as it will kill me to know that I did not make my law school decision with all of the information on hand, I'd rather know what could have been than to not even be aware of the possibilities.And, because I need to say it again, the most frustrating part about this is that I know that Harvard expects students to put down multiple deposits. Their deferral letters says:"We will make final decisions as soon as possible. However, if you do not hear from us again before mid-April, you may want to reserve a place at a law school to which you have been offered admission while the final disposition of your application to Harvard Law School remains unknown."It's not like we reserve our place by blowing dandelion seeds into the wind. No, it takes cash. But, and maybe Harvard forgets this, not everyone has it. Oh, and maybe Harvard forgets this too, but many schools, like NYU, have you sign a contract along with that bundle of moolah that says you have withdrawn applications from all other law schools and will not be generating any new ones. So, basically Harvard, because they are Harvard and think they can do whatever they damn well please and and treat people however they damn well want, including their peer institutions, thinks it's okay to 1) ask applicants to put down multiple deposits, even though not all of them can afford to do that and 2) to break a contract.Perhaps, as a would-be lawyer, this is just something I should get used to. You know, total crap.And please, if someone at Harvard Law (Tobias, the receptionist; Toby Stock, the Assistant Dean of Admissions, or any number of Harvard Law administrators or professors or students has a response to all of this, I'd be eager to hear it, because I would love to know how all or any of this is justifiable).*Feel free to substitute "Stanford" and/or "Yale" anywhere in place of "Harvard" in this rant, save for the last part referencing the deferral letter, because while Harvard at least sends deferral letters, Stanford and Yale send nothing at all and have remained utterly silent this whole 7 months.
promulgated by SWS2.1 at 09:49.
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