Saturday, April 30, 2005

|The Language Instinct.|

Having not read it, I don't much imagine that this was included in Mr. Pinker's book, but I just came to realize it and I think it's very interesting.

Maybe a year or so ago, I was at the Whole typing up a memo with one of my gaie Supervisors (the whole company [no pun intended] is lousy with them) and he told me to type, "various assundry items." I had never heard this expression before, neither has Word's spellcheck, apparently. He insisted it was a term. I assumed it was a southern thing (he's not from, but not far from, the bayou).

Anyway, as often happens in life, I began to read and hear this expression in many other places. But whenever I tried to look up "assundry," I could not locate it. In fact, I could only find it when I would google it with "various."

In any case, I just tried it again because I wanted to use the expression on something I was writing and didn't remember if it was assundry or assundary. Although, in my defense, it's fairly difficult to remember something you never learned in the first place. In any event, I googled it, and came to discover that the expression isn't "various assundry," but "various and sundry." But due to the mangling of language that accompanies any aural and oral program, it has become "various assundry."

As far as I'm concerned, if the OED doesn't have it, then it's not a word (unless, of course, I've made it up or it's in a sociological context). So, it's various and sundry from here on out.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 12:42.
2 comments

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|Drive-by-marriage.|

"Every good marriage begins in tears."


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 08:47.
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Friday, April 29, 2005

|*.|

what would Jesus have you do


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 22:58.
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|Saved! Aphorisms|

I just downloaded and watched the movie (take that MPAA), and I have these to say:

a. Being a non-smoker won't save you from being hit by a bus (or a falling Christ cut-out).

b. Jesus' love won't save you from going to Hell.


So, that said, wwJhyd*?


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 22:49.
0 comments

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

|A slight case of overkill?|

I just got back from my around-the-campus tour of libraries, collecting all of the books that I need for my two final papers. Actually, there is still one library to go, but it may not be necessary... as it stands:

For Paper 1: Analysis of Japanese Internment Camps during WW II vis-a-vis Erving Goffman's theory of "Total Insititutions," with particular emphasis on the Issei/Nissei Binary.

I have 8 books from three Columbia libraries, 2 books of my own, some texts from the course readings themselves, 2 books coming from Cornell, and a final book coming from Princeton.

Total Required Length: 10pp.

For Paper 2: Analysis of office dynamics of a non-profit through such constructs as the physical layout, the means of distributed cognition, and the modes of information communication: a site study of FilmAid International

I have 3 books on non-profit organizational structure, 3 books on information management, 2 books on office management, course readings, 4 office design books coming from UPenn, 2 office design books coming from Dartmouth, the non-profit BIBLE from a Columbia holding facility in the Jerse, and "field notes" to top it all off.

Total Required Length: 15pp.

I may have nothing to say, but I have lots to say it with.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 20:25.
0 comments

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Monday, April 25, 2005

|P.S.|

That pang of emotion that floored me Saturday night (and drove me to go to his place in the rain to see if we could talk [p.s. - he was there, but had chosen not to answer his phone (in his defense he was asleep, but he admitted having heard the phone ring and being pretty certain of who it was and he had received Josh's message from earlier in the evening requesting that he come to the party after all)]) had pretty much subsided by Sunday morning, but from a rational perspective I was still very much interested in re-evaluating where we were at that point.

Yet it would seem that he'd already made up his mind, which actually isn't unlike one of the issues I have had with him all this time.

Ten months from now, when I return from Paris, and B and I get together for coffee to talk about what had been happening to one another for the past half-year, this will all seem very funny. I'm sure.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 20:27.
0 comments

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|Convenience?|

It would appear that while my marriage of convenience is drawing to a close, my relationship of convenience is just getting started.

I did not get to talk to B about what (had not) happened Saturday night until Sunday afternoon, and basically it sounded as though he wanted to break up. While I was shocked and awed by the fact that he was even willing to come to a party with my friends and saw that as a great thing, he saw his lack of a cameo appearance as an altogether unforgivable action because such opportunities only come around so often in a life time and he'd more or less robbed me of this one (the greatness of the opportunity is not something in dispute) and the fact that he could do such a thing to me makes him wonder about himself and wonder about us.

So, alright, let's break up, right? No. Let's stay together, because neither of us has the most control over our libidos (save when around each other, actually) and being released from the sexual contract of our relationship might be destructive to our ability to fair well during finals season. The thing is, that was actually my reason for calling for a break, as opposed to a break up, although I had not admitted that to him. But, with his telling me that he was not breaking up with my for my own good (as well as his own) really just pissed me off. I am an adult and fully in charge of my own person and if I start looking for sex like crazy and my work suffers for it (which is probably what would happen), that's my choice to make.

Moreover, we're only staying together until the end of the break at which point we will re-evaluate our situation and given what he said it seems most likely that we'll break up (more-than-slightly incompatible sexual interests, his being gone for the summer, my being gone for the fall, being ashamed of his actions regarding my surprise birthday party, etc.). So, we're staying together for the sole purpose, it seems, of not wrecking our grades, with a slim chance of remaining as a couple come the end of May.

This isn't a break. This isn't even a relationship. It's a no-sex pact.

Having only seen the show a few times, I feel like my life is quickly turning into an episode of Felicity.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 20:13.
0 comments

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

|... the rub.|

And B was going to go. He was allegedly excited to go. But the day before today I told him that I wanted to take a break. I was frustrated with what I perceived (and I still maintain rightly so) as selfishness on his part. I had spoken with Michelle and Josh, the planners of the event, about the break. Evidently they tried to talk me out of it -- but not hard enough.

And would have gone down in the books as one of the single most glorious events of my young adult life was down before the count started. Chances are it's not a moment that I will ever be able to get back.

And I only wish that B had possessed sense enough to realize that his showing up despite the break would have practically righted everything -- because his showing up would have run directly counter to so much that's come before that lead to my decision.

And I wish he freaking had a frigging cellular phone so that I could talk to him now as he does not appear to be at home.

And now... I fear... I may be starting to feel something... ahh, the power of absence.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 01:43.
0 comments

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|There's...|

Three weeks ago I had a birthday. Not much came of it. A slight mental spiral downwards -- stress from school and work and law school and other things. And the one thing I'd asked specifically for from my friends -- a surprise birthday party -- completely did not happen.

For days I was upset. I cried a little. I cried about a lot of things the day after my birthday, the lack of a party just being part of a stream of things that were pounding on me. I wasn't down for long -- a very great card from a very great friend a day away made me feel a whole lot better, and I remembered that despite innumerable hardships I have a fairly amazing life because I have most everything that I need, and a lot of great friends who I probably don't deserve.

And then I went to Michelle's tonight for our monthly game night and was taken aback by all of the people who jumped out to tell me Happy Birthday. And there were balloons and cake and candles, wrapped up in months of mysteries and falsehoods -- for a good cause... me. And had it not been for the rain, it would have been on a pier with lights and beneath a full moon because a few of my friends know how to listen to me.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 01:35.
0 comments

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Saturday, April 23, 2005

|Huh. Interesting.|

I had coffee with Emily today, to talk about law schools and the ones I was applying to and to get the down low on the low down of the 1L. Among many things that were mentioned, she noted coming to realize that competition in law school is inversely proportional to rank.

In other words, the most competitive law schools are the ones at the bottom of the barrel, because those law school students are the ones who have to try. It's kind of like how unattractive people are supposed to be better in bed, because they have to try harder. In this case, all of the law students at Columbia and Yale will get jobs (with an average starting salary of about $110k), 'cause they went to Columbia and Yale, if for no other reason. But kids at say... Marquette University or South Texas College of Law have to fight claw, tooth and nail for the most coveted positions.

So maybe applying to going to Yale won't be so bad after all... now for the small task of obtaining an acceptance.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 18:08.
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Friday, April 22, 2005

|B Break.|

B and I are on a break. I know what you're wondering: how can you be on a break when you've only just started? And that's a terribly astute question and with so keen an analytical mind you should not be wasting your vast cerebral powers reading my blog.

We've been "together" for nearly two months. Our break is to last until the end of school, about a month from now. We will be "apart" (and not having sex, not that we were having sex before anyway) for half as long as we were together. And then comes the summer, most of his plans being plans which may carry him away from New York City.

Hmm.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 23:57.
0 comments

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|Gaies vs. Girls.|

Girls say, "Please don't get married before I do."

Gaies (like me say), "Please don't have sex there before I do."


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 23:55.
0 comments

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Thursday, April 21, 2005

|Modernity.|

I check my email daily. And by that, I actually mean to say semi-hourly. When I am in class, I get very anxious over the fact that I cannot check my email. I sometimes wake up in the early morning to check my email before nodding back off to sleep. I cannot go to bed before I've checked my email (ALL of my email addresses) at least twice.

This is definitely a 21st century affliction.

I have this irrational hope (fear?) that one day I will receive an email that will change my world forever. And I'd rather not go a day without checking my email, only to find out that there was a window of opportunity to change my world forever and I missed it because I decided not to check my email.

Or I just have OCD.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 00:49.
0 comments

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|Stranger things have happened.|

I try to check my Sitemeter every day. I've always felt like no one sees me or really cares about me, and the sitemeter allows me to think that at least a handful do. Also, it allows me to reverse stalk some friends. Like Julianne of Japan is always the bbtec.net and A to the L is always mindspring.com.

And I also look at the Referring URL. What crazy quirky google query brought some poor soul to my site, only to find that I'm probably not what he or she is looking for? But, funny thing, a referring URL for a visitor yesterday was from the site of one Luke Ward. I at first wondered why a personal Columbia student's site would refer to me, but the ldw in the URL gave it away. In any case, I went to the site and found not a single trace of me. So, I'm baffled. Having run into lDw not too long ago on campus and his, in passing, making me aware of the fact that he's been "blog stalking" me, I imagine this message will reach him without my actually having to be unlazy and email him and he will clarify the situation.

Oh, and his name is splayed all over his own site, so I don't know that there is much cause for alarm in putting it here. Of course, perhaps this is just the old Kleinhardt Gambit and his real name isn't the real name I say his real name is.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 00:24.
0 comments

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Sunday, April 17, 2005

|I'm all but in.|

From the University of Wisconsin Law School's website:

Trend of college grades. An applicant who started very poorly in college but performed strongly in later college years may be judged more favorably than another with the same GPA but a level or declining record.

Outside work while in college. A full-time or extra-heavy part-time work load (or, rarely, an extraordinarily heavy load of extracurricular activity) may suggest that the applicant would have had a better GPA with lesser load. We consider this factor in close cases.

Unusual cultural background. Our quest for diversity gives some advantage to fully qualified applicants from unusual or disadvantaged backgrounds.

Diversity of experience or background. A background of work experience, life experience, college activity, political activity, etc., that adds an additional or unusual perspective to the law school student body may work in the applicant 's favor.

Score.



promulgated by SWS2.1 at 22:11.
0 comments

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Saturday, April 16, 2005

|Akademiks.|

I've been super charged about law school research for the past few days. I even have a hyperefficient excel spreadsheet with colors and tiers and a scoring system and shizzle. But all of my research has lead me to a slightly regrettable conclusion: to do what I really want to do, means adding on a whole slew of credentials.

I'd really like to focus on either bioethics or children's right. As it turns out, a number of schools have programs that involve one or the other or both, but those programs aren't law programs, but dual law-master's programs... plural being the name of the game. For instance, for me to get a MS-minor in Bioethics from the University of Minnesota as a law student also requires my getting a MS in a Law, Health & Life Sciences program (probably Science & Technology Policy). So, I would leave law school (and of course the programs don't actually stipulate how many years they take, but put it in terms of credit hours which means almost nothing to me) with a JD and two MSs. If I go to Cornell and would like to take sometime to study abroad in France, basically my only option is to tack on another year to focus on International Law, and get a JD and then some: a JD and a Maîtrise en Droit (that's a French law degree). How much money are these going to cost? At what point will I actually start practicing law? Or will I go straight from the classroom (at a desk) to the classroom (behind the podium)? Is this how an Academic is forged?

And now I understand why people say things like, "I dunno what to do with my life now. Maybe I'll go back to school and pick up a Master's." A 1-year program here, a 2 year-program there, combined programs that cross-cut courses so what would take 5 years is done in 3. I didn't realize they handed out advanced degrees like candy. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if in 20 years, my resume bogged down in letters and greek affiliations, my son will turn to me and say, "Dad, I think I'm going to head to CostcoX and get some chips, some dips, and some suds. You want anything?" And I'll say, "No, I'm good. But pick up a Master's in Critical Race Theory for your sister. She's been feeling a little down lately."


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 20:44.
0 comments

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|So, what did you do today?|

If someone were to ask me what I did today, here's about what I might say:

Well, I got up around mid-morning and went to the gym. Flagellated for a bit and then went home, showered, and hauled ass downtown to be late to meet a friend who was even later for brunch. Chatted with this friend about TFA, as she's a member of the corporate staff and I'm thinking about applying, and then we parted ways. On the way of parting, I ran into another friend. She tells me that my wife and her boyfriend have broken up and she's moving out today. Being the good husband, I of course immediately volunteered my services to help my wife clear out of her boyfriend's pad. And then I came home.

Or I might instead say:

Nothing much.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 19:19.
0 comments

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Friday, April 15, 2005

|Your racist friend.|

There's trouble a-brewin' in B-ville. He and I seem to be finding ourselves in an awful lot of disputes lately. I'm not really sure what it means now, and I have only the slightest inkling of what it means for the not so distant future. Who was it that said that really clever thing about feeling like she was walking on the edge of a knife? Whatever that saying was, by whatever sheperson who said it, seems fitting for the moment.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 18:23.
0 comments

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

|It's a play on words and sound.|

I don't Nietzsche.

Get it? If you don't, it's okay. You had to be there. And by "there," I mean here at my desk at 2.36AM elated over the fact that you managed to use the words "perfidious" and "substrate" in your essay both debunking and validating Nietzsche's concepts of weakness and morality.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 02:36.
0 comments

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

|The world in a footnote.|

In Freud's "Civilization and Its Discontents," the following footnote is found a propos of the commandment, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself," :

"One must, it is true, forgive one's enemies [for the wrong they did me in their lifetime] -- but not before they have been hanged." -- Heinrich Heine


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 19:32.
0 comments

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Monday, April 11, 2005

|Like a slap in the face.|

So I only JUST realized that Desperate Housewives is back in the swing of showing fresh episodes. Shame on all of you (looks directly at Mac) for saying nothing. At the same time, thanks for not letting the catty cats out of the bag.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 19:03.
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

|Small Town, America in Big City, U.S.A.?|

On my way to the Hudson River Park, strapped down with Freud and a full stomach from brunch, I was cutting across the cobble-stoned streets of the clusterfuck of avenues at 14th and 9th. On 14th, just across from Jeffrey, I encountered what has to be the second oddest thing I've ever come across in this city (the first will be revealed to you in short measure).

The man walking in front of me was halted by two elderly women and an equally aged man. They were having trouble parallel parking their car. The fact that there were almost no cars at this point of 14th street (the strong urine smell and the trans-whores around the corner probably being a forceful deterrent for those in the know) with the exception of the cars anterior and posterior to the car of these septaugenarians only made the scene all the more queer. The woman in the car was just sitting there, bewildered as to what to do. The woman standing outside of the car, who had actually flagged down the young gentleman, was overheard by me to be saying this (and I can't even make this sort of thing up): "Would you mind getting behind the wheel and parking our car?"

I kid you not.

You'll fall out of your seat at what happened next. The man. The man who was clearly gaie. The man who was clearly gaie and walking with a brisk pace to suggest that he had somewhere to be (notwithstanding the fact that all New Yorkers have somewhere to be). The man who was clearly gaie and walking with a brisk pace to suggest that he had somewhere to be replied without hesitation, "Sure." The woman behind the wheel exited the vehicle and he took her place.

I did not stay long to see what happened next. But as I neared the Westside Highway, I did turn back to see if I could spy the conclusion of the episode. I could not see the man, but I could see the car, nicely edged up against the curb of the sidewalk, and the trio of a certain age walking off to who knows where.

Cut to two hours later (I love "cut to") and I've finished my Freud and am heading out of the park. Bound for Integral Yoga to buy some much needed granola, I'm traversing Bank Street when I see a pickup stalled at a green light. I have taken this moment to bask in the shade of the scaffolding, which is the only way I could have been privy to the next few moments at this traffic light. A man, probably in his 40's, not strikingly homosexual, wearing a hunter green t-shirt and blue jeans, walks up to the truck and says, "You folks look lost. Can I be of any assistance?"

At that point you couldn't get me out of the West Village quickly enough.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 20:15.
0 comments

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|Constantine.|

Being not terribly willing to pay to see it in the theaters, I just downloaded (in less than 10min, thank you i2Hub!) and watched, "Constantine." Forget what you think you know about the movie. Beyond ripping a new whole in the well-worn story of the eternal battle between Good and Evil; beyond the question of Fate (capital 'F'); beyond the plaguing concern over the discrepancy between what is Good and how it is to be achieved; beyond all these things and more, Constantine has one great, resounding, unifying and thundering message: "Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, and May Complicate Pregnancy."


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 02:52.
0 comments

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Saturday, April 09, 2005

|Publicolor Joke of the Day.|

1: "I'm from DR."
2: "What's DR?"
1: "The Dominican Republic."
2: "Oh. I didn't realize you were Dominican Republican."

Although I suppose it's only a joke of it's intentional.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 16:17.
0 comments

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Friday, April 08, 2005

|Malaise.|

One of these days I'm going to start enjoying life. I'm very nearly willing to bet on it.

Well, maybe very nearly.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 02:05.
0 comments

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Monday, April 04, 2005

|The Lingering Electric.|

This morning, as I plodded campus back and forth strapped down with books like some sort of Qur'an smuggling camel, I was taken by the greatness of the day. The air was mild. The wind was brisk. The trees were bare. And the sky was cold and brilliant. One would almost think that it were Fall, but it is in fact that very season's antithesis. The forward looks like the reverse, or the reverse looks like the forward, or the forward looks like the forward depending on how you look at it.

And then the afternoon sprung (indeed). Kids were sunbathing. Kids were ultimate-ing. Kids were lingering. The campus was suddenly trembling with electricity, vibrancy and life. And people were not rushing home to get out of the rain or the blistering wind, but simply lounging and talking and catching up -- the renewed light of day reminding everyone of the existence of a world outside of their puffy parkas.

And while I personally hate people talking about the winter being "so cold" and "harsher than last year" as if it doesn't come around every year and if somehow they were taken by surprise, I hold this double-standard near and dear to my heart... let the joyous news be spread...


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 19:50.
0 comments

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Saturday, April 02, 2005

|The B word.|

B said the B word. I did a taketake (that's take twice. that's a double take.) mentally.


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 21:24.
0 comments

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Friday, April 01, 2005

|Sweet death.|

Did you ever wonder what trees did with their sap before man harnessed the maple goodness to make syrup? They exploded. Maple trees produce far more sap than they can contain and, if left untapped, they explode.

This year there have been a record number of deaths due to maple tree explosions. The low-carb diet fad that's taken the world by storm has been devastating to the syrup industry. With no one buying syrup, it's counter-productive to continue tapping the trees and making syrup. So, the trees fill. And they explode, shooting limbs and maple blood hither and thither.

Death by sweet tree blood followed by decapitation by a projectile branch.

(This is based off of an NPR report which may or may not have been an April Fool's Day joke.)


promulgated by SWS2.1 at 17:55.
1 comments

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|Septimus Warren Smith 2.1|

I went to an Ivy League undergrad.
I go to a top NYC law school.
I date men (well...).
I live in Bed-Stuy.
I don't need more to say,
just more room to say it.
Etc.

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