The Septimus Notes

Monday, April 25, 2005

|Convenience?|

It would appear that while my marriage of convenience is drawing to a close, my relationship of convenience is just getting started.

I did not get to talk to B about what (had not) happened Saturday night until Sunday afternoon, and basically it sounded as though he wanted to break up. While I was shocked and awed by the fact that he was even willing to come to a party with my friends and saw that as a great thing, he saw his lack of a cameo appearance as an altogether unforgivable action because such opportunities only come around so often in a life time and he'd more or less robbed me of this one (the greatness of the opportunity is not something in dispute) and the fact that he could do such a thing to me makes him wonder about himself and wonder about us.

So, alright, let's break up, right? No. Let's stay together, because neither of us has the most control over our libidos (save when around each other, actually) and being released from the sexual contract of our relationship might be destructive to our ability to fair well during finals season. The thing is, that was actually my reason for calling for a break, as opposed to a break up, although I had not admitted that to him. But, with his telling me that he was not breaking up with my for my own good (as well as his own) really just pissed me off. I am an adult and fully in charge of my own person and if I start looking for sex like crazy and my work suffers for it (which is probably what would happen), that's my choice to make.

Moreover, we're only staying together until the end of the break at which point we will re-evaluate our situation and given what he said it seems most likely that we'll break up (more-than-slightly incompatible sexual interests, his being gone for the summer, my being gone for the fall, being ashamed of his actions regarding my surprise birthday party, etc.). So, we're staying together for the sole purpose, it seems, of not wrecking our grades, with a slim chance of remaining as a couple come the end of May.

This isn't a break. This isn't even a relationship. It's a no-sex pact.

Having only seen the show a few times, I feel like my life is quickly turning into an episode of Felicity.

promulgated by SWS2.1 at 20:13.
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