B and I had our first relationship-type argument. Well, I think it was our first. I dunno.
To start from the start, this is Spring Break (recall the list of things to accomplish?). Early on in the break I received an email from B noting that we are planning on doing this and this over the break, and asking what else can we do? How else can we spend time together? Thinking this a good indicator of how things were going, I got on board for doing more things and planning such. Monday, we were to have lunch together. B ended up canceling on me at what was essentially the last minute which did end up throwing my work day off kilter re: when I have my snack vs. when I have lunch and when I do certain tasks that preclude lunch/snacking and take hours to complete. But, no big. He had to cancel because he has lots of work to do this week, applying to fellowships and the like. As I said, no big.
That night we get together and he makes me dinner -- very enjoyable. Then he tells me that he doesn't think he'll be able to go with me and friends to Pop Rocks! on Thursday night because he still has lots of applications to get through. That saddened me because then he would not get to meet my friends (something he's dodging for reasons that have been explained to me and which I find mostly acceptable), but not a big deal because mostly no one had even responded to my email about going in the first place and, again, I understand the need to get work done.
Then on Tuesday, we were talking, and he tells me that having so much work to do, he was wondering if we could shorten our Wednesday plans. My entire break has been spent working, at work and doing school reading -- Wednesday was going to be my Spring Break - we were going to go to the Met and then have lunch and then go to the Magnolia Bakery. So when he tells me that he wants to shorten my Spring Break to being, essentially, a quick jaunt to the Met in the middle of my day (leaving little time before or after to do anything worthwhile) I was a little bothered. We decided we'd figure it all out in the morning, before I went to work (I was going in for two hours in the morning for reasons that need not be explained here). Only, when I called in the morning B did not answer. Which was alright, considering that I'd come to the conclusion that I was going to uninvite him to my Spring Break as with the canceling of lunch on Monday and canceling dancing tonight, I'd started to get the feeling he was gunning to ruin my Spring Break. Anyway, I finally get ahold of him around noon (which is when we were originally planning to head out) and he's had a change of heart. So, my break was back on track... or so it seemed. Walking to the Met from Columbia (something I had never considered doing before) he's talking to me and telling me how he had gone to Splash the night before (Tuesday night) with a friend and about the fun he'd had and that he'd gotten in late (which is why he was too exhausted to hear/answer the phone in the morning). Now, let's think about this. Monday, lunch, CANCELLED: too much work. Thursday, dancing, CANCELLED: too much work -- cancelled 3 days beforehand. Wednesday, outings with art and baked goods, NEARLY CANCELLED: too much work. Yet somehow in the midst of all of this too much work he found time to go out to a gaie dance club for a few hours, even though that was something he'd just told me a day prior that he was sure he would not have time to do even later in the week than THE VERY NEXT EVENING? It hardly suffices to say that such news did not sit well with me. And I'd more or less stopped talking to him until we found ourselves in what must have been the Baroque Furniture Wing of the Met when I explained why I was bothered and why I did not want to kiss him. To be absolutely clear: 1) I don't care that he went to a gaie bar 2) I don't care that he went to a gaie bar without me 3) I can understand that he might have realized that all work and no play makes B a dull boy BUT 4) I do care that he values his time so much more than mine that I can't get out of bed on Saturday morning to get started with my busy day when he wants to sleep in without annoying him but that he can cancel lunch at the last minute, cancel dancing too far in advance to be reasonable, and try to truncate our day together because he has so much work to do only to take time which he should have been using to sleep (so as not to miss our planned phone call in the morning) to do that which he'd said he would not have time to do with me and mine with someone else 5) I do find it frustrating that his words say casual but his actions say more than casual then his actions say very casual and then his words back up his latest actions! His response was to say that he definitely cannot be expected to do things with me and only me all of the time. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I prefer that. But he was the one who wanted to spend more time together this week and after making changes to my plans I'm entitled to expect things to go as designed. Ultimately B was apologetic and I felt much better having unburdened myself of those thoughts, but part of me feels as though he still didn't get my point. So, the House is now open for bets...
I went to an Ivy League undergrad.
I go to a top NYC law school.
I date men (well...).
I live in Bed-Stuy.
I don't need more to say,
just more room to say it.
Etc.